


Show Me Why You're Strong

by Highwaytono



Series: Words We Use [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bad Reputation and Redemption, But I plan for a happy ending so there's that, He's kinda sad, Homophobic comments, It's kinda a slow burn, M/M, Tol boy looking for a Nice boy, whoops, whoops I forgot to add that there will be tears and angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highwaytono/pseuds/Highwaytono
Summary: Kent Parson stood atop his fame in the city of sin. He is strong and he is not afraid.Well, not until HE came along.





	1. I Was Here

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my second Fic. I did this. Highwaytoyes makes me write things.
> 
> I envision this fic to be a bit longer than you expect because I live to break all expectations. 
> 
> I appreciate that you took the time to read this, feel free to leave any comments you have or kudos, cause that'd be super chill.

Kent watches the Draft with his buddy Carzy. The Aces did well this year, sure they lost the Stanley cup final, but you can't win it every year. This also means that the Aces get a lower pick, which isn't really a bad thing. There are some great kids in the draft this year. Kent stares at the T.V. willing the draft faster when he feels something cold against his neck. He jumps and hears a laugh from behind him.

“Come on, Captain, it wasn't really scary, was it?” Carzy says with a chuckle. Kent rolls his eyes and grabs the beer. Kent does his best to make himself comfy on Carzy’s weird couch, he should really get another. The pick dwindles and then finally it happens. 

“The Las Vegas Aces would like to select Rhys Decker.” 

The kid was a 6’2” goalie, and had a damn good season in the OHL. A total steal from what Kent could tell. He would be a great addition to the Aces with Hearty retiring. Sure, the fight Decker had been in a few years ago had caused a ruckus, but everyone has a reason for shit like that. That fear he caused still could be an asset, no one would start anything with him in the net. 

\----------

“Wait Ron, is that the Otters goalie that's going after number 88? Holy- I have never seen a knock out like that because of such a simple check! Did you see that? Wow, The entire arena is quiet after Decker is ejected from the game.”

“I don’t know what caused that, Larry, but it’s definitely going to cause problems for him later on. I mean you can’t just go after any player who checks a teammate, but he sure brought fear to the eyes of everyone in this arena.”

Kent remembers watching the clip later on, someone sent him the link with the words: I’d hate to be on a team with someone like that.

It was something that the OHL didn’t forget. Later on they brought it up in interviews, talks, anything to get soundbites to prove that Decker was a bad kid. So, when his draft year came around, everyone was watching.

\------

Rhys isn’t afraid to enter the locker room per se, he’s more afraid that his bad reputation might follow him to the NHL. He’s not some big angry kid from southern USA, Rhys is a good kid who protects his teammates in whatever way he can. Maybe the other prospects won't remember the fight that started all this years ago. Hopefully they will be blissfully unaware. 

Rhys opens the door to the locker room and takes a step in, a deafening silence occurs.

Shit. He freezes, which is never a good thing for anyone with a resting bitch face. He scans the room and watches as the others shrink as he unintentionally sizes up the entire room. Rhys quickly heads for his locker and gets to changing, not wanting to spend another moment ruining his chances to make nice with anyone.

Once on the ice Rhys lights it up or makes sure the other prospects don’t at least. Goaltending is something simple and calming for him, nothing makes him happier, really. Most of the prospects keep their distance even during drills. Rhys does his best to not show how dejected this makes him, he plays his best out on the ice. He has something to prove. 

After some more harsh drills they call the day over, Rhys feels like he’s done his best. Not that it really changes the opinions of the other prospects, they still shy away from him in the locker room. Rhys does his best not to sigh and quickly changes out of his gear and heads to the showers. He turns the water lukewarm, shuts his eyes, and stands under the spray. 

There isn’t much Rhys can do. He feels as though all the things he achieved after that fight meant nothing to the other players. The fear that constantly surrounds him is still there. Nothing helped his image; He’s still that “bad kid” from the OHL who changed fighting for a generation. 

It’s not like he wanted to do that. He just wanted to stand up for his teammate, but the world isn’t too kind to tall guys who look constantly angry. 

Rhys sighs and finishes showering. The locker room is almost empty when he makes his way back. He systematically dresses in his T-shirt and jeans and grabs his gear bag. With a quick look around the locker room he sees that there wasn’t any change from the morning. The slow walk Rhys takes back to his rental car makes him feel less desolate about his almost career. To ease that thought he quickly throws his bag into the back of the rental. He then buckles up, turns on the car, and plugs in his phone. The drive back to his hotel is easier than he expected. There wasn’t that much traffic and the music playing was calming. Once back he parks his car and hurries back to his room. It’s not like he has to, but he always feels nervous around groups of people so he does his best to not make himself feel any worse. 

He orders dinner from room service and spends most of his time going between watching old highlight videos and watching T.V. shows, and eventually gets ready for bed and the rest of prospect camp. 

Rhys Decker just wants to do his best and maybe have a chance to play for an NHL team. He knows that there will definitely be troubles trying to be a part of the team, but he’s about ready to do anything to be a part a team and to feel wanted.


	2. Noonday Demons and Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha-Ha! That funny moment when you start a story the weekend before classes start, they cancel classes because you live in the south and it snows about an inch, so you feel confident enough to post the story. Das me! So yeah. I'm in college and if you've read a lot of fics, you know what that means! Irregular schedule and weird posting times! Yay! Don't worry though. I won't abandon this. I'm to invested in Rhys. He's my baby now.
> 
> My first bit of classes were great, thanks for asking! I’m in all the classes that I need for later on in life, soooooo homework and paying attention is 110%! As it should be for everyone, but if it isn’t then give it 70%, Kiddos. I’m also writing a million papers to get into honors programs and because i’m minoring in English, so fun times! That's enough out of me, here’s what you came for. Hit me up with a kudos or a comment if you’d like, cause feedback is like my drug. 
> 
> There’s about a week and a half time jump from the last chapter.

Kent was excited to get back with his team. That and to meet the new rookies who made it through prospect camp. As he expected Rhys Decker made it through, after all he still is an amazing goalie. 

The first time Kent sees Rhys is when he is standing in front of the locker room. He stands there all tall and imposing. Kent watches as he takes a step back, closes his eyes, and does breathing exercises. He can tell because they are the same 7-5-7 second ones Lacie, his therapist, told him to use when he’s nervous. He watches as Rhys brings his shaking hands to his face and implodes into himself. His elbows on his knees, so close to the floor, Kent thinks he looks a lot like his own 18 year old self. Without really meaning to he walks over to the kid and puts his hand on his back. This startles Rhys and he looks up to see Kent. The kids face immediately loses any emotion he once had. Rhys' blank face contorts quickly as he stands up straight and looks down at Kent. The whole situation confuses Kent and he leans down to sit completely on the floor. The kid just stares at him, his face a mask of anger, but his eyes exuded a small amount of fear, but a large amount of kindness. He opens his mouth to say something but snaps it shut when he hears footsteps. Kent leans back on his arms and looks behind him. Carzy and Train come down the hallway, arguing as usual.

“All I’m saying is that he should have chosen the blonde girl, they had real chemistry.” Train spits out.

“You have no clue about romance do you? She was just being nice, she didn’t even like him.” Carzy sighs. He looks down the hall to see Kent and Rhys in their predicament. Train looks up a moment later.

“Everything good here, Capitan?” Train asks. He eyes Rhys and then Kents spot on the floor.

“Honestly, I’ve felt better? Like, I rolled out of bed and hit the floor at Four-ish in the morning, so it could be a lot better.” Kent lays fully on the floor and Carzy laughs.

“You were the one that wanted a lofted bed, and I quote ‘Dude, the Storage.’” Carzy reaches his hand out to help Kent up, both of them knowing full well that Kent will stay on the floor until the conversation is over.

“What about you, Rhys was it?” Train walks around where Kent is lying, as if being closer to Rhys will increase the chances of him talking. Rhys audibly takes a breath and looks at Train.

“Yeah, I could also be better. It’s pronounced Rhys though, like Reese’s Peanut butter cups.” His mouth twitches slightly, holding back a smile is what Kent thinks. “How about you?”

His words sound formal and almost robotic. Almost as if he was just learning English and was still uncomfortable with it. Even the way he stood looked uncomfortable, hunched over as if he wants to be smaller than he is. Kent honestly wanted to hug the kid. 

Train looks at him skeptically and says “I’m doing well.” The four of them stand in awkward silence for a few moments before Kent finally takes Carzy’s hand. Once up he opens the door to the locker room and they all file in. 

Changing and practice are good, for everyone but Rhys it seems. Every answer he gives is short. Kent notices that he hardly even tries to get along with any of the other guys. Rhys just takes everything in stride, he acts as though everything is already planned out for him. If it was it’d be a stupid plan. 

So, Kent does what he does best. He is Captain to all but keeps careful watch on those who need it, more specifically Rhys. Which is why Kent follows him to his car. It sounds bad, he knows, but the kid needs someone there. 

“Hey, Decker! I got a question for ya!” He says with his signature smile plastered on. Rhys jumps, but turns to look at Kent, waiting for the question rather than asking his own.

“Has management talked about where you're gonna live?” Honestly, it's a plausible excuse for a conversation.

“They wanted me to live with Carter, but I didn't think that would work out well.” Rhys puts his hand on the back of his neck and looks down shyly.

“You're right Carzy wouldn't know what to do with all your energy! I have a better idea, how about you live with me. I mean, I am Captain, therefore the most responsible on this team.” Kent wishes Rhys would laugh, Kent wouldn't even take offense to it.

“I don't know if that would work out well either…” Rhys trails off, no explanation in sight. 

“I'm sure it would. How about this, we can do a test week. One week only you'll live with me in Casa De La Parson, it'll be fun dude.” 

“The La isn't necessary, it’s feminine, but the sentence sounds weird, house of the Parson? Casa del capitán is more like it.” Rhys looks pleased with himself. His smile lights up everything about him, it makes Kent smile too. 

“So, wanna stay with me in Casa del capitán then?” Kents smile never falters, he knows that he will keep fighting this until Decker says ‘Yes.’ If there is one thing Kent is good at it is definitely being stubborn, but only about things that will be healthy and helpful. 

“I’ll think about it? Can you give me a few days?” Decker is still smiling, it’s faint but still there. Kent is convinced that within the week the rookie will be his.

\-------------

Kent sits on the couch while Carzy goes to the door to pay for the food they ordered, because ‘We ain’t got time fo cookin’ as Carzy put it. How could he say anything else? The night had been going fine up till then, watching Sense 8 and shooting the shit about anything, but when Carzy came back it was obvious that he wanted to talk about something.

“Food and situating first then we can talk.” Kent says quickly, standing from his spot on the couch to grab plates. From then the air gets a little uneasy, not in a way that could be considered awkward but more so in a unanswered questions sort of way.

“So, uh, what was that with Decker earlier today? Like that whole situation was really weird-”

“I know it was, I was there. He just looked like he needed something, but I don’t know what. I was worried, as a captain, ya know?” Kent laughs, this situation is familiar. Carzy was drafted the year before him, but he tries to not act like it means anything. ‘Just because I’m older doesn't mean I’m wiser, Parse.’ is what he told him after a few weeks on the team.

“Yeah? I wasn’t doubting that, but you know what they said about him- not that I’m saying that he is a bad dude, he’s just capable of a lot of things.” The worry is clearly conveyed in Carzy’s voice. 

“I’m not all that worried? You shouldn’t be all that worried either. Rhys seems like a team player and most of the time guys like that end up being the good guys.” Kent wants him to be a good guy. He needs him to be, honestly. He wants more faith in the world, and even though it’s a shitty thing to do, he’s willing to put it all on Rhys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go yell at me on tumblr: Highwaytono.tumblr.com
> 
> Also, if you wanna see what my boy Rhys Decker looks like, here he is: http://highwaytono.tumblr.com/post/156510708917/parson-sure-does-make-decker-look-less
> 
> Edit: I changed wording, some punctuation, and just little things. It bugged me. Feel free to call me out on it.


	3. Sugar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with newly acquired knowledge about my mental health, I am back once again to bring you smooth jams-- wait, no. I'm here to bring you this fic. 
> 
> (But, if you want a sweet playlist, or at least the one I listen to while writing that also has all of the music and title lyric in it, then here you go!: https://open.spotify.com/user/enigmand/playlist/5uxIPurOlawTDxTdJmw3SF )

Rhys Decker sits atop a podium in Las Vegas, accepting his fame. He is physically strong, but he is most definitely afraid. 

The lights of cameras flash, people move around in the back of the room, and every single person is looking at him. He thinks someone asked a question, but he can't remember. 

“Can you repeat that, Please?” Rhys shifts in his seat. He rubs his sweaty hands on his black dress pants and he focuses on how that feels. 

“-Like to be on a team with Kent Parson?” A reporter asks, clearly annoyed.

“It’s pretty, uh, amazing? He’s a guy that you look up to, and, um, playing on a team with him is great.” He stumbles, but from all the interviews he’s seen he knows that it’s normal. That doesn’t make the room any less tense, but it calms him slightly. There’s an empty chair three rows from the front, more left than the cameras, but he tries to focus on that and listening for the next round of questions. It goes on like that for another few minutes before someone from PR escorts him off the stage. The girl, Daniella (“Call me Danny, please, we’re gonna spend a lot of time together.”), gives him a look that's between “I know you can do better.” and “You tried, thank heavens, you did.” Rhys is so thankful that Danny is in charge of him, they have an unspoken agreement about how long he can be in rooms like that. He really hopes that his anxiety isn’t that noticeable to the cameras.

“You did good, kid. Go take a break before the next round.” Danny pats him on the back and gives him a reassuring smile. Rhys just nods and heads to the room designated for the “Aces Brakeses” as the sticky note obviously written by Kent Parson says. For some reason Kent writes notes on everything may it be reminders, silly sayings, and sometimes he’ll write his speeches on them and leave them in the locker room. 

Rhys enters the room to see Kent talking animatedly to a group of teammates. He's up on top of a chair one foot on the seat and the other on the back, his arms wide, and a huge grin plastered to his face. He directs his grin to the door and consequently Rhys.

“Rhys! Tell me that you aren't like these hooligans, tell me that you think Titanic is the greatest romance movie of all time.” He's serious, Rhys knows this now. Anytime a movie or music comes into conversation Kent is serious about his opinions. Even so, he is wrong.

“Cloud atlas. That's the greatest romance movie of all time.” Rhys is always serious too. That movie is his shit. This news causes Kent to deflate, he slouches down into the chair and then onto the floor. The boys laugh, at Kent not what caused it, Rhys thinks. He has to be careful and not get too comfortable, he doesn't know when they'll send him off or just get rid of him completely.

“Look what you’ve done kid. You’ve killed the captain, what’s next? Mutiny?” Carzy says with a smirk. He is sitting in the chair next to the one Kent was previously standing on. Rhys is a little confused, the last time Carzy spoke to him was a few weeks ago when Kent was on the floor, again. He hears a laugh and looks up, Train is laughing now.

“I think he’s thinking about it. Better watch out Kent!” Train lightly kicks at Kent who looks up at Rhys.

“You wouldn't take my team, would you, Rhys?” A pout on his face. He looks pitiable on the ground.

“I can’t even if I wanted to, Goalies can’t be official captains, remember? I’m stuck under you until someone else takes over.” Rhys laughs, honestly for the first time in a while, at the stupid face Kent makes. The team continues chirping their captain, all in good fun, and for the first time in a while Rhys allows himself to feel like he is a part of the team. 

This feeling continues even as he finally gives in and moves in with Kent. He doesn't even have that much stuff, he had little before he came to Vegas anyways. Still, it takes over an hour to shove his things in Kent’s ridiculous small “but awesome looking” car. Kent takes the time to chirp him about everything he does and doesn't help at all. The drive through Vegas to Kents apartment is fine, other than Kents need to sing One Directions “No Control” at the top of his lungs.

Rhys stands in front of the door and waits for Kent to unlock it. Kent just stands there for a moment, as if in a trance. Eventually, he unlocks the door and holds it open for Rhys.

“Welcome to Casa del capitán.” He does an arm flourish that makes Rhys sigh. He walks in past Kent and watches as he shuts, locks, and deadbolts the door. 

“Got something to tell me Captain? I don't think this place has a basement.” He means it as a joke but he sees Kent flinch.

“Nah, sorry. It just makes me feel better? Now! On with the moving in!” He pastes a smile on his face and walks further into the apartment. Rhys follows, looking around the dark apartment. Little light with all the curtains drawn and little noise, only the sounds of their footsteps. This isn't what Rhys was expecting at all. As if on cue, Kent pulls back all the curtains in the room. The morning light filters in around Kent, when he turns to look at Rhys the light halos around his head. It makes Rhys’ heart flutter in a way he hasn't felt in a long while.

“You got a playlist you like? Cause I feel like dancing.” His smile looks real this time, as if the person who locked the door never existed in the first place. Even so, the question catches Rhys off guard. 

“Uh, I think so. You have some place for me to plug in my phone?” Kent points at a system. Rhys looks through his songs for something that might be “dancy.” He doesn't think for too long before Kent comes up beside him and hits “Shuffle Play.” 

“A scrub is a guy that think he's fine and is  
Also known as a buster (buster, buster)” 

No Scrubs by TLC plays out, canceling out the almost suffocating silence. Rhys sings along remembering hearing the song in his childhood. Those hot days running around in Charleston, trolling tourists and learning the most important things about music, those are days seems so far away now. It seems so weird to think of his life back in South Carolina now that he’s in Nevada, everything has changed. For better or worse, he doesn’t know yet. The playlist plays out as Rhys unpacks his bag, all the while singing. 

Unbeknownst to him, Kent watches him. Music is a window to the soul and Kent intends to look. That doesn’t change the fact that his taste in music is a little ridiculous. From that first song it then went to The Smiths, some rap song in french, Beyoncé, and now it’s some soulful pop song. He sings, raps, and even hums the musical parts. It’s obvious that these are songs he listens to often, but Kent really can’t pull anything from it. When Hollaback Girl comes on, both Rhys and Kent try to sing every part, which turns out to be a super bad idea. They laugh at each other breathlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I printed off half a textbook for $2.50 yesterday, College is weird.
> 
> I tried to write a new way this chapter? If you have any thoughts, they'd be appreciated.
> 
> Also, Have a great Valentine's Day! I got a date latter, so wish me luck! <3


	4. Who Tells Your Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, Rhys is from the same place as me, so southern accents are fun. Also the F-slur is used, I hate it but it's a necessary evil in this narrative.
> 
> Also, unlike other chapters, Highwaytoyes doesn't really like this one? She hates angst and everything I believe that's in a good story. It's alright though, one day it'll be happy again. 
> 
> (I also cried while writing this? Which is why it took so long? These chapters always seem longer than they are to me.)

Rhys is laying on the floor of Kent’s apartment. Kit is running and head-butting him repeatedly, but he doesn’t mind. After a while Kit gives up and climbs on top of Rhys. She sits on his back.

“I’ve been conquered!” Rhys yells in the direction of Kent in the kitchen. The two of them have been living in an almost domestic bliss the past few weeks. They decided on a schedule of who does what, when having people over would be cool, and other simple things. Rhys really appreciates that they have it, he has trouble asking for things. It's almost like Kent can read his mind sometimes, it's not even a captain-goalie thing, it's more of an instant connection thing.

Kent leans behind the kitchen wall to see Rhys and laughs, “You gonna let her treat you like that?”

“Pro’ly I don't see why not? Like she ain’t doin’ anythin’ bad.” Rhys hears Kent laugh. “What now?”

“Your accent, dude. Where are you even from?” Kent makes his way into the “living room.” (‘We live in the entire house, why is this singular room called a living room?’ ‘Dude. Just stop, please.’) 

“An interesting mix of both the north and south? Spent my summers at home in South Carolina, went to school in Michigan till I got Drafted to the Otters, and now I’m here in Nevada? Who even knows what my accent is anymore.” Rhys laughs.

He knows that it's changed a lot. He's had a lot of places to try and fit in with. It's hard for a Mexican-German, American born and raised, southerner to fit into the white northerner mindset of hockey. That and the “chirps” that he's learned to be a form of “justifiable” bullying on the ice. The things he's heard over the years would certainly put off someone less stubborn, but Rhys has been living off spite since he first was told what he “couldn't do” because of the “way it is.” 

____________

Rhys doesn't remember who said it, or even when it was said.

“Guys just use homophobic shit because of the toxic masculinity that they were raised on, doesn't it mean that it's good. All we can do is not use it and fight for equality.”

Whoever and whenever, it has stuck with him. That’s why he fights every moment he can, physically on ice when he has to. Which is why he ended up in a fight back in the OHL, a comment he just couldn't stand for.

He wasn’t always a fighter, but there's something about being raised in the south that makes kids fighters. Maybe it’s the obvious discrimination of basic human rights, but none of that means that it’s a good thing. All Rhys can do is fight back any way he can. 

This is where he is now. Sitting in between the goal pipes, ready to fuckin’ throw down at yet another homophobic comment yelled by an asshole who knew Rhys was better.

“Say it again. I fucking dare you.” Rhys can feel his teeth grind.

“What? Faggot? You hate that word cause you are one, faggot.” The asshole had the nerve to continue.

“Yeah, faggot. Do you even-” Of course that's when Kent skates up. For a moment his face is twisted with emotion but he pulls his captain face. He looks quickly between the two. A whistle is blown and ent retreats to the faceoff circle. 

The rest of the game sucks. Rhys lets in three goals and that's it, the game's over. Kent won't even look at him, but he knows how bad the situation sounded. He just needs to talk to him. Everything will sort itself out, communication is key in any relationship. 

In the locker room Kent doesn't say a word. Regulation loss usually brings down team morale, but never Kent. He's captain for a reason, he knows what to say in times like this. He always does.

Rhys goes between undressing and watching Kent. All of his answers seem short and he looks almost defeated. By the time the media leaves the room Kent is already in the shower. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Train and Carzy talking through their weird telepathy thing. Rhys finishes undressing and heads to the showers, as Kent quickly walks past him. Rhys takes that as it is, first he needs to let him do his thing. If he corners him it will only make it worse. The sweat washes off as he scrubs, there isn't much else to do. 

When Rhys reenters the locker room he notices a group of the guys standing around Kent. They quiet down as Rhys walks to his stall. That is the moment he realizes something has to be wrong. Rhys doesn't remember anyone getting hurt on ice, but he takes a quick check of the room. One of their wingers is limping a bit, but that's from a hit early on in the first and the doctors already said he was fine. The boys are surrounding Kent, but Rhys /knows/ that nothing happened to him. Rhys watched him most of the rest of the game after the misunderstanding. 

Kent won't look at him, which is fine, but he /knows/ Kent can be logical. He’s good at that, Rhys knows. He won’t even glance to Rhys’ direction. Now Rhys is scared. Kent has to know that it wasn't the way it sounded, he /has/ to. 

From the way Kent jumps up and practically runs from the locker room when Rhys finally catches his eyes, he isn't convinced. He jumps up to follow him, but Train and Carzy stand in his way. If Carzy’s face is any indication of the conversation he’s about to have, then the fear rising finally has a good reason. Carzy says nothing for a while, he just stands there like any good “A” pressuring a rookie, but he sighs.

“I didn’t think I’d have to say this, to any rookie, the world is changing after all. But, on this team we do not use slurs. Not as chirps, not ever. Do you understand me?” Carzy’s disapproving gaze is matched by just about every other guy in the room, the others look angry.

“I do, but in this situation I need to-” Rhys starts, he really can't lose another team. He can’t.

“I don’t think you need to say anything else about the matter.” Train says, though he probably wishes he yelled it. His face is an angry red and his hands are rhythmically clenching and unclenching into fists. “You- I knew you were a bad idea.” 

And that, that hits hard. Rhys knows these guys, he knows that they would understand if they just listened to him. He knows, but he doesn't know how to get them to. 

“It wasn’t-” His words come out quick but to deaf ears, as soon as he opened his mouth they start to leave. He keeps trying to explain himself, but athletes are the most stubborn people on the planet. The silence of the locker room reminds him of the days where he was afraid to even play, afraid because he is, as he once was, alone. 

________________

Rhys doesn’t know how Kent will react to him when he gets to his home. It was, in the end, never theirs. Kent was just being nice to a rookie, one who had to go and fuck it all up. He leaves some of his things in the car, just in case, but he hopes he won’t need to.

After trying to unlock the door he realizes that it must be deadbolted. It won't budge for the life of him, so he knocks. It seems like forever before he door unlocks and Kent is standing in front of him. He’s never looked as small as he does now. Kent always looks strong, complete, ready to just be. When Rhys takes a step forward, Kent takes one back. This continues till Rhys shuts the door behind him. Only then does Kent allow him closer. He opens his mouth to speak but Kent looks at the floor, so quickly it’s as if it was meant as a spell to silence Rhys.

“I believed in you.” He says slowly, his eyes never leaving a spot on the floor. “I believed that you were better than the rumors, that you were....” 

He trails off and sniffs. Rhys tries to move closer, but this seems to be the worst decision of the night. Kent looks up at him, tears trailing down his face. It turns more red by the minute, his hands balled into fists and he’s shaking.

“I put my faith into you!” He roars. “You were going to be good for me, you and I were going to be better than Ja- FUCK!” 

Rhys just stares at him, he’s never seen his captain this angry. And what the hell did he mean by “Good for me.” Rhys had no clue what he was talking about. He watched as Kent breathed, to get a calm that just wouldn't come. 

“Get out.” He laughs. “I can’t. I, just, I can’t do this.” 

Kent starts laughing harder, hysterically is the only way to explain it. The tears start streaming again, like a dam he’s never let go. He keeps repeating himself in between breaths until he starts whispering.

“Please.” He begs, not with a bang but a whimper. 

Rhys goes to his room and shoves clothes in one of his bags. He's quick about it, he couldn't bear to hurt Kent anymore than he already has. As he walks to the front door he turns to see Kents tear stained face. He takes the final steps out the door which is quickly closed behind him, locked, and deadbolted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.  
> You can totally yell at me on my Tumblr, Highwaytono.


	5. Love Is Stronger Than You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry this took so long! There was a lot of things going on, but lots of good stuff happened too. Like I got into the Honors College at my school? Who knew I was smart enough, not me. Oh, And i'm goin for the Pens this Playoffs, so that's goin pretty well (knocks on wood).
> 
> I hope Y'all like this chapter!

Kent has the ability to think rationally, but sometimes he does stupid things when he can't, like visiting his ex or kicking people out of his life without asking questions. 

Kent Parson sits on the floor of his empty apartment. His back is against the deadbolted door, in the beginning it was a morbid metaphor, but not anymore. Now it is real and it is not rational.

He knows this. It’s just easier to just . . . not? Lacie says that it's really bad, but Kent wants to indulge himself right now. So the incessant pounding on the door is not working out at all. He hears a voice through the door. The voice is faint, but familiar.

He's shaky on his legs as he stands up against the door. With his forehead on the door he takes a deep breath and counts.

“87, 19, 90, 81, 71…” Kents’ brain calms and the panic is tamped down, if only for a moment. The pounding has died down, but Kent is sure whoever is out there is still there. He unlocks the door to see Carzy looking distressed. For a moment the two men stare at each other, reflections of a desperation each didn’t know they had. Kent sniffles and Carzy takes that as his key to wrap him up in a hug that both men needed. 

They stand like that for a while, Kents face pressed into Carzys neck and Carzy holding on to Kent for dear life. There are no words between them for the longest time, their friendship sometimes transcends words in ways that neither man can explain. The physical comfort of the other around them is better than words slung together in a half assed compassion that normally comes out of friendships of this nature. This was something new for the both of them, a friendship that was meant to be kept up not just the routine of teammates. They would even go as far as to call each other best friends, if anyone asked.

Eventually, the comfort became too much. Kent pushes against Carzy, who takes a step back. Kent takes a moment to pull himself together, meanwhile Carzy takes the time to close the front door and leads them to the living room. He makes Kent sit on the couch and sits right next to him. The continue to just be in the silence that hardly describes their normal personalities. 

Finally, Kent sighs and looks at Carzy, “I just wanted him to be good for me? I know that putting my faith on one person isn’t good, but I just keep doing it over and over. It just hurts.” His voice cracks on the final word. Kent thinks he might start crying again, but he doesn't know if he can.

Carzy just looks at Kent, his face void of emotion. Kent doesn't know what else he can say in this situation. He knows he fucked up from the first moment he saw Rhys Decker get drafted to his team. He knew that he was going to put all his faith into another human being who could hurt him the same way or even worse than what happened with Jack. He knew, he just wanted to ignore it as long as he could.

“Sometimes we don't have clear-cut answers to the things we have questions for. You made your way here on the same faith that you used to believe in Decker with. So, that has to mean something. I’d remember that, after all, he was the one who called me and told me to get to you, no matter what. He’s a good kid, misunderstood and a little broken like the rest of us, but still good.” 

Kent hears his words like the voice of reason he forgot he had. He shuts his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. 

“I know that I have to talk to him, I know that I can't just push away people before they push me away. But, I’m afraid of the end result. I’m afraid of going back to all the good and it just feeling too right, too good for me. I have all of this, the team that I’m fucking captain for, but the good that I get from him? Its like I can’t let myself have it, not after everything else.” He wrings his hands in his lap, the movement does nothing to displace his feelings. His words flow in a frantic way that almost scares him, he has the thought that he’s felt like this before, but that was years ago. 

“The anxiety you feel is worth something, to you but it means shit all to me. So what if you have a happier life than before? I’d say that if anyone deserves any type of positive in their lives, it's the two of you. You know that already, as does he, which is why he left and sent me to pick up the pieces you shattered yourself without asking any questions.” Carzy sighs, more disgruntled than anything else. 

Kent understands this, he knows that he takes the easy way out when it comes to his emotions. He throws on a big personality to shield his fear of being alone again because he fears that they all already know that he isn't worthy of what he has. All he ever wanted was to play hockey and to make people proud, but here in this room all of that feels like nothing. 

Kent stands so quickly that he startles Carzy. The steps he takes to his bedroom are purposeful. He finds his phone on his dresser and calls Lacie.

\--------------------------------------------------

Rhys leaves the apartment he used to share with Kent. He stands in front of the building feeling a little more lost than he had earlier in the day. He makes the split second decision to call up Carzy.

“Yes?” The voice sounds tired and tinged with annoyance. 

“Kent needs you. He really shouldn't be alone right now. Please, do whatever you have to, just go see him.” Rhys tries to not sound panicked as he feels it rise up in him. The words come out relatively calm. His hands are shaking almost violently, the worry he feels for Kent needs to be focused somewhere else. The call disconnects and Rhys feels a little better. Not enough to stop shaking. No, the worry is a bone deep anxiety that has little chance to leave him anytime soon. 

The cold Vegas air flows around him as he walks the steps he needs to reach the curb. The cabs pass by quickly, their headlights lights move like disconnected orbs. They go by for a while before he even tries to hail one. He goes back to the hotel he stayed in before Kent.

Rhys ends up laying on the hotel bed staring up at the ceiling for hours. He almost misses his alarm for practice, but he rushes and gets a cab quickly. Just looking at the arena brings the anxiety back to him. He takes the road most traveled and walks right into the locker room. He will not be afraid. All the other guys are there, but no one is looking at each other. He changes and heads out onto the ice. Carzy is beside Kent who looks like a mix between half dead and deranged. The deranged is normal, they’re playing the Falcs tonight. Everyone knows about Jack Zimmerman and Kent Parson. Their “rivalry” is almost as famous as Crosby and Giroux, though with less hostility. Carzy is talking to him, but it’s obvious that Kent isn't listening. Hes scanning the ice like he can see the game before it’s happening. Those intense eyes that are saved for those games, too intense for the Kent everyone loves. So, of course this is the day that everything clicks. Rhys can't say he’s ever been a part of a better practice in his life. Well, everything clicks till they’re all off ice. 

The locker room is a mess. Not physically, but more so that no one is actually focused. The Coach takes notice and gives them a stern talking to, but it doesn't boost morale like it normally would. Kent doesn't even add any side notes. He just nods his head and continues doing what he was. No one shows if this is truly getting to them though, they all continue to try to ignore it. Rhys tries to ignore it more than the others. Carzy keeps shooting him glances, as does Train, but Kent won’t even look in his general direction.

\-----------------------------------

The locker room before the game is eerily quiet. No one speaks and no one looks at the captain. Carzy rounded up the rookies and new guys to tell them not to worry about their captain during this game, that this is normal and is what he needs to do. Even so, Rhys worries. He worries in the locker room, he worries as they get on ice, and he definitely worries when he sees who Kent’s intense eyes are looking at: Jack Zimmerman. 

Rhys never asked Kent about what happened when he lived with him, and he sure as hell isn’t now. He just gets out on the ice and plays the way he needs to, but the puck possession is in the Aces favor so there is little to do but watch. He watches as Kent and Jack go head to head, he watches as Jack practically ignores him, and he watches Kent slowly unwind further. In the first intermission he sees Carzy and Train huddling around Kent, but he isn’t listening again. Kent is in his own mind. 

The second is a mess, for everyone. They're tied 3-3 and flubbing passes that should not be flubbed. Kent looks the way they all feel. Like he wants to fight the ice. The second intermission is terrible. The coach is yelling at every player to get back and prove themselves, but Kent only seems to get worse. Rhys honestly can’t take it. Who cares if he's just a rookie, he lived with Kent for long enough to know that he has to try. So, he takes a seat by Kent, who slouches further into his stall.

“Hey, I got your back. No matter what. You know that, Right?” Rhys keeps his eyes on Kent, trying to decipher anything he can. But, nothing happens and Kent still won't look at him. 

They lose the game 5-3. Rhys just couldn't keep it together in the third. He manages to keep it together in front of the reporters, but he still can’t help feeling like he’s failed his team. Well, the team he is on, he can't say that they’re his anymore. Back in his hotel room he spends some time watching some older games. Back before he was drafted his teams were the Pens and the Canes, he hardly payed attention to the rivalry between Parson and Zimmerman on ice. He thought that there was no chance of him getting drafted anyways, or if he was he’d be sent down quickly. But watching the old Aces vs. Falcs games, he sees that Kent has been having harder times playing against them every game that passes. It’s almost like seeing Zimmerman is weighing on him, as if he tries to play through it, but can't anymore. Rhys’ phone buzzes.

The Big C  
Hey, Are you coming over for dinner?

Rhys  
I didn’t know if you wanted me over?

The Big C  
Yeah! Can’t break tradition!

Rhys  
Ok. I’ll be over in a few.

Rhys locks his phone and stands. He hadn’t unpacked his bag, but it would be to presumptuous to bring it back. He grabs his wallet and takes the stairs to the lobby. Everyone is going somewhere in Las Vegas, Rhys never thought he’d get used to it, but here he is moving with the crowd going somewhere with the rest of them. He gets in a cab and tries not to panic the ride over to Kents’, it's just dinner. Not really a tradition, since they lived together, but still, it's just dinner. He pays the cabbie and makes his way inside. In the elevator ride up some catchy song Rhys doesn’t know the words to is playing. The doors open and he makes his way to the door and as he is about to knock Kent throws the door open.

“Come in!” His media smile is on. When he turns and heads inside Rhys follows him. “I’m glad you came. I know the last time we were here some . . . not so nice things happened. I’m pretty sure it’s that hall. It might be haunted by some demon who wants to ruin my life. Like, what happened yesterday. Oh! And this morning. I got a call from Zimms, he said that he wanted to talk a bit after the game. So, me and my big mouth says that that’s fine and invites him over. And that was NOT fine-”

He stops and runs his hand through his hair. In an instant he loses himself and he starts hyperventilating. Rhys immediately steers him to the couch.

“Hey, I need you to count after me, alright?” He waits for Kent to nod before he continues. “20, 32, 53, 31.” 

Kent repeats them slowly, calming down with each number. Once calm enough to he laughs.

“You count jersey numbers, too?”

“Yeah, as long as they're not after each other they work.” Rhys smiles at Kent, who smiles back.

“I’m sorry about all of this-”

“No, we’ll talk about it later. Let’s talk about what’s going on now. Zimmerman is coming over?” Rhys watches as Kent looks at the floor.

“Yeah. It just came out. I kept thinking about it all day. I don’t know if i’m ready, I mean I didn’t even take a minute to hear your side? I just let my faith in you go, which wasn't good at all. Carzy told me.” Kent rambles for a moment and then looks at Rhys, “I think i can talk to him, But only if you’re here. I know it’s a dick move to make you leave and come back, but I feel positive when you’re around.”

“I feel more positive around you too, but we’ll talk about the rest of that later. What do you need me to do?” 

“Will you stay with me? Just for dinner, you can totally leave and be done with me aft-”

“I’ll stay for as long as you need, Kent.” Rhys smiles wider than he has before.

“Thank you.” Kents matching smile is almost as bright as the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on my Tumblr, Highwaytono, if you want.


	6. This Could Be Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Sorry about how long this took. I spent a good while just waiting to open the door.

Rhys helps Kent to the kitchen. It's almost obvious that a home cooked meal is not an option. So, Rhys pushes him towards the island in the middle. Even if he isn’t shaking any more Rhys knows it’s only a matter of time before it happens again. 

“Hey, Kent?” Rhys waits for him to look up, “What time did y’all decide on?”

“Well, since the game was at three, we thought that eight would be a good time.” His eyes are focused on Rhys like if he looks away he’ll be gone, but how could Rhys ever leave him again?

Rhys opens the Forbidden Drawer.  
(“Whatever you do, don’t open this drawer, it has the worst things imaginable in it.” Kent laments.  
“You have a Take-out menu drawer?” Kent scowls as Rhys laughs.  
“Just don’t open it. It's Forbidden.”)

Inside he finds menus to several places with their diet in mind on top, but farther down are the local pizza places. Bingo, just what they need. He holds out two of the menus for Kent to look at. He points to the one on the left immediately so Rhys places an order with their diets in mind. 

Even with the childish glee of knowing pizza is on the way does nothing to alter the dread that almost suffocates the room. The fear is not just what Kent feels, Rhys fears the unknown of the future. Zimmermann and Kent would end up playing against each other for the rest of their careers, the way this meeting ends could project the way the way they will be around each other for the rest of their lives. This one thing, this one simple meeting, scares the shit out of Rhys. So, he cleans. Not that he really has to, it’s more or less a nervous thing, because Kent keeps his place clean. 

Time passes and the pizza gets there. Rhys pays for it and takes it into the kitchen where Kent hasn’t moved. 

“Kent-” Rhys starts, but there’s a knock at the door. Kents looks like he’s going to be sick, his face is white and the crisis is back in full force. Rhys takes this moment to hold his face between his hands. He smiles as comforting as he can.

“I’ll be here with you the whole time. You have nothing to worry about, I won’t let anything happen. You understand me?” Rhys tries to make himself sound reassuring, but he manages to sound more like a parent. Even so, Kent shakes his head and smiles. Rhys kisses his forehead. 

“I’ll get the door.” Rhys heads for the door, he takes deep breaths to calm himself before opening the door. It helps a little, but the fear is still there. Rhys opens the door and there stands Jack Zimmermann looking just as afraid as Rhys feels. He startles, presumably from seeing Rhys open the door and not Kent. 

“Hey, thanks for coming. Come on in, we have food in the kitchen.” Rhys says as calmly as he possibly can. Zimmerman seems to take this well, he sags a little and makes his way inside.

“Thank you.” He says quietly. Rhys guides him to the kitchen where Kent is still in his same spot.

“We ordered pizza. It’s within our diet, I made sure, and it's better to stick to it, Right?” Rhys tries, and fails, to lighten the mood. So he just goes and grabs plates. “Is water fine for ya’ll?”

The question seems to startle the two of them from watching anything but each other. The affirmatives they reply with are short. Rhys places plates and glasses on the table. Jack sits across from Kent and Rhys sits to Kent's left. They eat in silence for so long that Rhys thinks that nothing will happen between them, but then Kent blurts the words he’s thought about out.

“I know that my way of trying to help was more of helping me than you. I never listened to you and said things to try to manipulate you into doing what I want. Even after realizing that and thinking it all over, I still think I understand you and I still care about you, but that was not the way to show it in any way. So, you don't even have to think about forgiving me about all of that, but you should know that I am sorry for saying those things and hurting you. That was not something I should have done at all.” The words come out in a rush, Kent's eyes are focused on a spot of the table but he doesn’t look as if he’d be ready to cry. Jack shakes his head and looks at Kent, his eyes show the same determination he has on the ice.

“You’re right. Things should never have gone that far. I don't think I can forgive you for that, not right now and maybe not ever, but I think we can try to start over.” Kent looks up at Jack, meeting his eyes for the first time in years. Their eyes lock and Kent shakes his head. After a moment, Jack eyes Rhys and opens his mouth to say something but Kent cuts him off.

“I need him here. He’s got to be here. He makes me feel safe.” Rhys’ eyes widen as he looks at Kent, his determined gaze mirrors Jacks. Kent turns to Rhys and smiles in a way that he hasn't seen in a while and returns his smile.

“Well, Before we really start over I think I should apologize too. The way I handled the situation in the beginning wasn’t the best.” The way the words flow from his mouth sounds practiced. As if this moment is something he has dreamt about, something so delicate that a script is needed.

“We can’t really change that now. The way things went wasn’t healthy or favorable, but I think if we start this all over, without thinking about those things, then we could quite possibly be good friends again.” All of Kent’s attention is on Jack and the accord he provides. 

“I would like that. I really miss talking to you Jack.” The grin on Kent’s face eases Rhys’ emotions. He takes this moment to clear the table and sneak off to the kitchen. He manages to do the dishes and tidy up the living room before he notices Jack.

“He’s been a lot happier with you here. I'm glad he has someone he can trust and talk to.” Jack sounds so sincere. It almost makes Rhys want to explain everything that made him ruin said trust, but in the end he would rather fix things with Kent too.

“I try. He’s a really good guy when he tries to be too.” Jack laughs at that.

“Are you laughing at me, Zimms?” Kent has his signature smirk back and Rhys feels pretty good about the way things went. 

The rest of the night continues like that, peaceful chirping and smiles all around. When Jack leaves for his hotel Rhys feels a little anxious about the next conversation. Even so, he wants to apologize to Kent. He doesn’t want this to go badly. When he looks up from his space on the couch Kent is right there in front of him.

“Now I think it’s time that we talk.” Kent manages to say with more determination than anything he said to Jack. “I know you and I know that you wouldn't say things like that even when you get angry.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t ever say that in that context. That guy was just an asshole and i’ve always done my best to not get angry on ice again, but when someone uses a slur like that.. I just get so angry. I mean we took back Queer, but the F-slur is nothing to take back. It’s filled with hate and it makes me so angry. It’s the reason I almost ruined my career. When someone chirps my teammates that’s one thing, but throwing out homophobic slurs is something that should not be tolerated in any way. This isn’t a fucking straight sport anymore. You gotta think about the other players and the fans. So, I was honestly trying to pick a fight with him. For myself and to let him know how we should really do things.”

“So, just to recap, you are trying to be a knight in shining armour for the entire LGBT community when you fight or try to fight dudes?” The shit eating grin on his face makes Rhys roll his eyes.

“Basically.”

“Well, thank you for fighting, but try to stick to words rather than provoking and physically fighting people, alright?”

“I’ll do my best, Captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!   
> If you want you can go yell at me on tumblr: Highwaytono


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